did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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