i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
