i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
