You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
MIDGETS
????
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
