i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
