yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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