Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
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