i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
