I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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