Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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