HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
There r osticjed everywhere
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
