I've blown a few things in my day
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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