if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
