my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Randomize