I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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