i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
