I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Boobs speak an international language.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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