I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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