i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize