Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Boobs are out for the taking
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
