Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
