She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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