just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
