If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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