I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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