That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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