I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize