I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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