she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
