Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Is it because I queefed?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So much Jack, so little girl.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
