doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
