do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
