It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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