i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
