READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
