I just pynch a tree in the face
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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