i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
