Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
