Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
