When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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