i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize