The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
whose parrot is this?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
