Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
