I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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