i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
