just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I don't think brook has ever known best
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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