good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
