they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize