dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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