i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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