Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
