kristin has been a bad kristin
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize