Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
