Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
