It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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