I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
