i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
