So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
