Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
