Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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