we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
