she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
