also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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