my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
